Lexington, KY - Would you like to improve your effectiveness as a leader? Observing your own behavior is a good place to start.
It's not as easy as it sounds. I have frequently come across people who, while very adept at noting the problematic behaviors of others, are oblivious to their own. Setting an intention to observe your behavior - and acting on this intention - can prove to be a powerful tool to enhance your leadership skills.
While you could simply begin to observe your actions throughout the day, a system or structure is likely to improve your chances of success. A group called the Fourth Way School, founded by Armenian G. I. Gurdjieff, suggests taking notes during your day as you observe your actions and behaviors. This school breaks all activities into the following groups: motion (moving), emotions, thoughts (thinking) and instincts. Begin taking notes for one group the first week, add the second group the next week, and so on.
It is likely that you will find yourself acting without thinking in some cases. As you begin to observe your actions and see them objectively, you will begin to understand the reasons for them. The result will be that you will have a better understanding of yourself and your interaction with others.
The natural consequence of learning more about yourself is that you can more objectively decide if you wish to continue behaving in the manner that you have and make adjustments as desired.
I believe that you can make dramatic improvements in your leadership skills by observing, considering the effect of your actions on your team and making any improvements you wish. Test yourself by determining if you've become more effective with the changes. Ask your team members for input. Open questions such as, "Do you feel you are getting enough guidance from me?" and "Do you feel you have much input to the process?" can go a long way toward understanding how you are perceived. You can then compare the responses with how you feel. If there is a mismatch, then you can once again observe yourself, now with a focus into the specific areas of concern.
The witness state
During one of my graduate courses of study, I had a professor who used the words "here" and "now" over 100 times during a lecture. This professor was unaware of this annoying habit. Thankfully it ended when a fellow student wrote the instructor an anonymous letter politely bringing the issue to his attention. Once the professor was made aware of the situation, he began to observe himself, confirmed the problem and corrected it.
Try to observe yourself from a third-party position, what is known as the witness state. As you do this, you are able to detach from issues and interactions, see them more clearly and resolve them from a quieter, more calm state of being.
It is often difficult to make detailed objective observations. Research has shown that we have a difficult time discerning incongruent objects in a scene. Similarly, it is likely that we will have a difficult time seeing our own actions that are inconsistent with actions most appropriate to a given situation.
I once attended a media training seminar. At the culmination of the seminar, each of us were to be recorded during a mock interview session. Much to my chagrin, as I was responding to a set of somewhat personal questions, I observed myself on the videotape making hand motions to push the interviewer away. During the interview, I had no idea I was doing this.
The videotape technology allowed me to enter the witness state without really working at it. In the same manner, you could ask your team members for feedback, either in person or with a survey, such as a 360∞ survey. A 360∞ survey is very useful since it can gather perspectives from subordinates, superiors, peers, customers, friends and family members.
Staying present
As you begin to utilize some of these techniques, you should begin to find that you will have a better rapport with all of the individuals you interact with. You will find yourself more present and available to them. They will likely feel that you are really listening to them.
As you listen, reflect their words and thoughts back to them. This will help you stay present in the moment and show that you are listening. You will find greater focus in the moment. Ultimately it can become a meditation, allowing the rest of the world to fall away for that moment. As you improve your ability to focus on your actions in the moment, you will become more effective and happy at the same time.
Joel DiGirolamo heads the firm Turbocharged Leadership and can be found on the web at www.turbochargedleadership.com.