We all know that lions gather in prides, cows in herds and dogs in packs. Beyond that, most of us would be hard-pressed to match any other animal with its collective noun.
I realized this upon reading about “a gang of drunken moose” roaming around Sweden. Having gorged themselves on fermenting fruit, these moose were stumbling through parks, catching their antlers in trees, and chatting up the cows. (OK, no actual talking.)
Gangs of moose? I looked it up and, sure enough, moose — perhaps especially when inebriated — assemble in gangs.
And what about the rest of the animal kingdom? Let’s take a quick look at University of Kentucky’s football opponents to get an idea how treacherous this territory can be.
UK’s first-week opponent, the University of Tennessee-Martin, were the Skyhawks. A collection of hawks may be called by numerous names: aerie, cast, kettle, mew, stream or screw. After the pounding UK gave University of Tennessee-Martin, let’s go with screw.
Another early season opponent, Ohio University, goes by the Bobcats. Again we have a choice when we gather them together: a clutter, a pounce or an embarrassment. Even though we won by only 17, let’s go with embarrassment. Because we can.
And then there’s the University of Florida and their congregation of Gators. I didn’t know amphibians were religious, though I have heard expressions of awe from those who encounter Gators, whether in the wild or on the gridiron.
UK plays two groups of Tigers this year – Louisiana State University and the University of Missouri. We can only hope the games don’t resemble the actual name for an assemblage of tigers: an ambush.
And what do we Wildcats call ourselves? It turns out that when you collect a group of wildcats together, they become a destruction. We can live with that.
Neil Chethik, aka the Grammar Gourmet, is executive director of the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning (www.carnegiecenterlex.org). Contact Chethik at neil@carnegiecenterlex.org or (859) 254-4175.