U.S. House Speaker John Boehner was waxing eloquent about the American Dream earlier this month when he stumbled into a metaphorical morass. “So let’s stand tall and prove the skeptics wrong,” Boehner told his House colleagues. “May the fruits of our labors be ladders our children can use to climb to the stars.”
As I imagined boys and girls mashing bananas between their toes as they ascended an extremely tall ladder toward Alpha Centauri, I was reminded that metaphors have a purpose.
A metaphor is a way of explaining a difficult concept by using a familiar comparison. The classic metaphor is Shakespeare’s “All the world’s a stage,” which makes his point that people are like actors, playing a role in a larger human drama.
A mixed metaphor, on the other hand, usually takes a simple concept (in Boehner’s case, governing with our children in mind) and makes it either obscure or surreal (fruit as rungs on a ladder). When we’ve listened to Boehner’s mess-of-a-metaphor, we actually have less of an idea of what he’s saying than when he started.
Mixing metaphors is a bipartisan practice, of course. In 2008, when then-Sen. Barack Obama was running for president,he declared that he wasn’t “green behind the ears.” He meant that he was neither “green” (a metaphor for inexperienced) or “wet behind the ears” (a metaphor for new to a particular field).
I keep a list of these so-called “malaphors.” For example: That’s the way the cookie bounces. We have to get all our ducks on the same page. People are dying like hotcakes.
Metaphors, of course, can be inspiring and illuminating. Vincent Van Gogh wrote: “Conscience is a man’s compass.” Albert Einstein said: “All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.”
The key is to make sure your metaphor serves to clarify, to improve understanding. Otherwise, criticizing your writing will be like shooting monkeys on a bridge to nowhere.
Neil Chethik, aka the Grammar Gourmet, is executive director of the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning (www.carnegiecenterlex.org) and author of FatherLoss and VoiceMale. The Carnegie Center offers writing classes and seminars for businesses and individuals. Contact Chethik at neil@carnegiecenterlex.org or 859-254-4175.