By now, most of us are familiar with business coaching. Chances are you’ve either been coached or been the one doing the coaching. The odds also are high that the coaching you’ve either given or received wasn’t very good. Surveys show that only 23 percent of those involved in the coaching process thought it was significantly effective. Ten percent stated that the coaching they received was having a negative effect.
Author Michael Bungay Stanier’s book “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever” explores why a tool that has come to be considered essential for effective leadership seems to be among the least used.
He begins by examining the reasons that there is such a high failure rate when it comes to coaching in the workplace. First, he suggests that coaching is too often complicated, theoretical and downright boring. This makes for poor ability to put into practice what was learned, the second reason for a high failure rate. Finally, implementing simple behavior change is more difficult than it seems.
Stanier brings to the defense of coaching with his own set of observations as head of the coaching company Box of Crayons as well as years as a coach and trainer. Despite common misconceptions, coaching is simple, he says. It is so easy, you should be able to coach someone in 10 minutes or less.
By using “Seven Essential Questions” the author outlines, coaching will become part of a daily process. It is worth the effort, Stanier says, by breaking “the three vicious circles that plague our workplaces.”
Stanier proposes the first circle is creating over-dependence, often occurring when members of a team refuse to take action without the go ahead from the team leader. The second circle is getting overwhelmed because you failed to delegate. Circle three occurs when you become disconnected from work that matters.
Breaking out is as simple as asking a few questions — the right ones, of course. Stanier identifies “Seven Essential Questions” that potentially could transform not only your workplace, but your personal life as well.
• The Kickstart Question (Lead in with a question that gets the conversation going).
• The AWE Question (Three words, “And What Else?” reveal better insights.)
• The Focus Question (Stop spending time solving the wrong problem.)
• The Foundation Question (Simply ask, “What do you want?”)
• The Lazy Question (Silence often a is measure of success.)
• The Strategic Question (Being busy can be a form of laziness.)
• The Learning Question (Create a space for learning moments.)
Before releasing the “Seven Essential Questions” into your workplace, the author suggests a short detour to learn how to put them more effectively into action. Before learning what to change, it is vital to learn how to change.
Few of us would receive a passing grade when it comes to knowing how to change. The reason for this, backed up by a Duke University study, is that at least 45 percent of our behavior is based on habit. From his research, Stanier suggests that to build a new coaching habit, five components are needed: a reason, a trigger, a micro-habit, effective practice and a plan.
These don’t all work in tandem, although they can. For example one suggestion is to start your discussions with “what.” Asking a question that uses “why” puts people on the defensive. A simple change of phrase can make for a very different result.
The “Seven Essential Questions” work just as well with texts and tweets as they do one on one. This could help in dealing with lengthy messages by using one or more of the techniques used in this book. These will increase time to focus and ask question.
“The Coaching Habit” is a primer on change, leadership and coaching. By making the “Seven Essential Questions” part of your management style, you can work less hard while having more impact, Stanier says.
“Coaching should be a daily, informal act,” Stanier proposes. “Not an occasional, formal event.”
The essence of coaching, he says, is helping others to unlock their potential. It also helps the individuals to become their own best coach — and that is why it is worth all the effort.