Many of us work in businesses that provide products, programs, or services for other people. Our minds may be focused on doing our jobs and what we’re offering — instead of who benefits and how it impacts them. To make a stronger connection with your reader and keep their interest, focus on people first in your written communications.
If I told you about the 200 seasonal classes the Carnegie Center offers each year in writing, languages, special interest topics, and children’s literacy needs, you might find it informative. The same is true if I mention our K–12 tutoring program serving children in need of reading and math help, but you’ll better hook your reader by leading with a person your organization has impacted.
Write something like this instead: Using the information learned through Carnegie Center writing classes, a woman recently landed a New York literary agent and now has a contract with a major publisher for her debut novel. She is one of many people who take classes at the Carnegie Center each year … [insert info about classes].
Or this: A boy struggling with upper-level math in high school was worried he’d fail the class and not be accepted into college. Through the help of our tutoring program’s math specialist, he not only passed the class, but also became the first person in his family to go to college. Our tutoring program serves children in grades … [insert info about the tutoring program].
These are real stories, and they demonstrate impact.
What about products, you may ask? Ever notice how commercials on TV show you an individual who needs a certain product — like laundry detergent for a stain — then show that product solving the problem? It’s designed to help you feel connected to the person, because you might need that product, too.
People are swayed more by other people than they are by descriptions of products, services, and program designs. Try putting people first in your communications and see if it makes a difference.
Jennifer Mattox is the Executive Director of the Carnegie Center for Literacy & Learning and a professional writer. For more information, visit CarnegieCenterLex.org.