Professional therapist Missy Ammerman offers tips in battling the cold gray days of February in the Bluegrass. Photo furnished
Welcome to February in Lexington! The excitement and hustle of the holidays is over, the winter doldrums have settled in, and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. It can be a difficult time of year here in Central Kentucky as the days remain short, the temperatures cold, and gray skies fade into gray asphalt. This month can certainly feel emotionally loaded, especially for those feeling lonely.
Here’s the good news… the days are getting longer, temperatures are trajecting upward, and the first crocus of the year should be emerging in a few weeks! The kids are back to school, routines have been re-established after the holidays, and for many people, it just tends to be a slow time of year. It’s the perfect time to rest and focus on your mental health.
Let’s let this month be about steadiness instead of growth. Too much pressure and overbooked calendars can lead to a disregulated nervous system. Our nervous system is our body’s central control network, keeping our bodies balanced between states of alertness and relaxation. Our nervous system was not designed for modern life, and when we are constantly being inundated with texts, emails, calls and notifications, it keeps us in a state of being overstimulated. Regulating our nervous system means balancing our body’s stress response and relaxation systems. A regulated system can move from a high alert state back to a state of calm without getting stuck in overdrive.
Nervous system disregulation can be caused by chronic stress, traumatic events and unhealthy habits, such as excess alcohol, poor diet or lack of quality sleep, to name a few. This can lead to an overstimulated vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is the body’s longest cranial nerve and acts as an information superhighway, transmitting signals between the brain and organs. When you’re stressed, the vagus nerve can become overstimulated, which may cause you to feel fatigued, anxious, overwhelmed, or have difficulty focusing on day-to-day tasks. This can lead to digestive issues, muscle tension, headaches or insomnia.
SO, what do we do about it?
4-7-8 Breathing
The 4-7-8 breathing technique triggers the vagus nerve and signals safety to your brain by acting as a natural tranquilizer. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and relax) and suppresses the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), which signals the body to relax by slowing your heart rate and lowering your blood pressure. Here’s how you do it:
1. Empty your lungs by exhaling completely
2. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
3. Hold your breath for 7 seconds
4. Exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds
5. Repeat
This is a free, simple and highly effective technique that can be used anywhere to help quell anxiety, requiring no props or tools. While it may not completely eliminate your anxiety, significantly reducing it is still a huge win.
Walking
Walking reduces stress by releasing endorphins, which are the body’s natural pain killers and mood elevators. Regular walking helps reduce stress hormones, increases serotonin and dopamine, which improves mood, and boosts norepinephrine, which enhances your body’s ability to manage stress.
Sleep
Sleep is critical in managing stress. When you don’t have adequate sleep, your body stays in a heightened state of alert, you can become more impulsive, more sensitive, less patient and prone to mood swings. Sleep allows your brain to process emotions, regulate hormones and balance neurotransmitters, which help to stabilize your mood.
Grounding Techniques
Grounding is a way to help you stay in the present moment when you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed. It shifts the focus from your internal distress to your external reality, which calms the nervous system and breaks the cycle of racing thoughts and intense emotions.
A simple grounding technique:
1. Name five things you see
2. Name four things you can touch
3. Name three things you can hear
4. Name two things you can smell
5. Name one thing you can taste
Co-Regulate
And speaking of Valentine’s Day…One of the most effective ways to manage difficult emotions is by sharing them with a supportive partner or friend. We are not wired to deal with stress and pain alone. Just holding someone’s hand during a stressful situation can have a tranquilizing effect on your nervous system. Having a safe partner or trusted friend beside you literally changes how your brain perceives both emotional and physical pain. Don’t underestimate the power of empathy during a stressful time. It’s priceless.
Seek professional help
If you feel like you’re struggling to manage your mental health, and life stressors become overwhelming, then it may be time to seek professional help. Therapy can help provide insight and tools to help get you unstuck and back to feeling like yourself again.
Missy Ammerman is a licensed relationship and therapist coach specializing in individual and couples therapy.