Lexington, KY - Sooner or later, all of us work for a bad boss. The universality of this experience is what gives Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster's newest book, Working for You Isn't Working for Me, an immediate draw from the moment you read the catchy title.
The authors define a boss as someone in authority, broadening the possible use of the term from supervisor or manager to a board of trustees, a major client or even a situation.
"We all answer to somebody," they write, "And your ability to manage these crucial relationships may just mean the difference between success and failure."
That is reason enough to invest in this book, written by a Harvard-trained psychotherapist and a nationally known business strategist. The authors suggest that some authority figures are inspired leaders and good communicators. Most, however, are either untrained or incompetent. At a time of high unemployment, fewer jobs and understaffed companies, more people are trying to figure out how to work with a difficult boss, as options seem limited. Fewer than before have the luxury of calling it quits. Besides, what if the next boss is worse?
The solution, suggest the authors, lies in your hands - taking back your personal power. It begins by managing yourself and your responses. Instead of trying to figure out the boss's dysfunctional behaviors, look at your own. The reality is that if you are coping with your boss's bad behavior and it isn't really working, you're cycling through a toxic boss/employee phase. If you fail to figure it out, it will probably get worse.
The authors suggest a four-step approach to handle tough boss/employee relationships, called the Four Ds. The process is designed to help take back personal power and, in doing so, improve your relationship with your boss.
The first step to correcting the situation is to detect it and know your expectations. Most of us, the authors suggest, look to our bosses for direction, guidance and inspiration. We expect appreciation and respect.
However, many people in authority are unable to manage or guide us, let alone provide encouragement. The result of less-than-adequate managers is frustration for employees who in turn feel undermined and trapped.
Correcting this situation means going against the normal responses to the bad boss workplace. Typically, when dealing with a bad boss/employee relationship, the employee turns to coping mechanisms, including obsessing over situations, avoiding the boss, sulking, bad-mouthing and even creating a revenge fantasy.
Such responses, the authors argue, take up mental space and energy. They leave an "emotional hangover."
Recognizing that, the better response is to detach. The stress of working with a bad boss can destroy your mental and emotional well-being. Instead of dwelling on the boss, focus on taking back your power. If this doesn't seem fair, the authors state, it isn't. But trying to control the boss's behavior is like "trying to control the weather."
Depersonalizing is the third step in the process. Recognize that you didn't cause your boss's actions and that he or she may be triggering your worst fears.
The final step is to deal - make a strategy for working with the bad boss in a way that works for you. Dealing means creating a plan of protection. For example, if your boss is incapable of giving praise, stop expecting it. Instead, look for it from other sources.
The list of "Twenty Boss Behaviors that Drive Us Bonkers," is crucial for putting the four drivers into play. Many readers will easily find a well-drawn portrait of their bad boss. For example, the Category of "Head Game Players" includes the chronic critic, rule changer and yeller.
Each of the 20 behaviors is put through the Four D process. The book contains numerous lists of suggestions for working out problems, and repairing your emotional state. It is filled with real-life case studies. The self-assessments at the end of each chapter are short and helpful.
Understanding has its limits - this is a book about managing. It's one thing to understand that your boss takes credit for your ideas or never gives encouragement. It's another thing to manage the relationship and your reactions.
While the title may initially seem to suggest that this is a book for employees, it is equally important for supervisors, managers and bosses. The authors have taken a crucial issue for anyone in the workplace and skillfully presented insights and ideas that could help to cure the bad boss blues for everyone involved.