Now that you've been reading the Grammar Gourmet for a while, you may be tempted to correct people when they slip up on their English. I have two words for you: Stand back.
Grammar knowledge in the hands of amateurs is a dangerous thing. You could hurt someone. More likely, you will get yourself hurt.
Back in my amateur days, I once admonished a friend in public about a word that she incorrectly used. She responded: “Oh, I don't know the right termination.” She was horrified to learn (from me, seconds later) that she meant “terminology,” not “termination.”
Since then, my friend (OK, my ex-friend) has been suffering from Post-Grammatic Stress Disorder: She hasn't said anything in my presence in 28 years.
This experience showed me that it was best to correct others only indirectly (as in a newspaper column). But there are other grammar-lovers who must ply their gift out loud. If you are one of those, here are ways to correct others that will limit the potential damage to all:
Do it privately. When you correct someone in public, you may be doing it to make yourself look good, not to genuinely help the grammar-challenged or create a grammatically better world. To ensure good motives, make your grammar suggestions in private.
Ask permission. Even when you plan to deliver the correction privately, it's best to begin along these lines: “I'm kind of a grammar nerd, and I noticed (fill in the blank). Would you like some feedback on making that grammatically correct?” Some people will say yes, and you can help them. If anyone says no, follow their direction.
Model good behavior. Here's the trouble with becoming a member of the grammar police: You are vulnerable. Should you misconjugate a verb, place an i before e even when not after c, or hang a preposition on the end of a sentence, you will be called on it. And the first ones to call you on it will be those whom you've corrected before.
Do you want to live this way? If not, just speak and write as well as you can, and let the rest of the world just follow.
Neil Chethik, aka the Grammar Gourmet, is executive director at the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning (www.carnegieliteracy.org) and author of FatherLoss and VoiceMale. The Carnegie Center offers writing classes and seminars for businesses and individuals. Contact Neil at neil@carnegiecenterlex.org or (859) 254-4175.