If you run a business and support the LGBTQ community, you can alert people of your support in a subtle but meaningful way. Add your gender pronouns to your business card, email signature and Zoom ID. Including “he/him/his” sends the message to people who haven’t always felt welcomed that you respect them.
You may already have colleagues sharing their pronouns, and you might have thought their gender was obvious. But it’s not always obvious, especially in this era when gender identity is more fluid and flexible than even a generation ago. And getting someone’s pronouns wrong risks disrespecting or alienating them.
The majority of us need only add he/him or she/her to our names, if those are the pronouns we choose. This simple act shows your awareness of inclusivity, especially in the LGBTQ community.
Others will prefer pronouns that are neither male nor female. They/them is often chosen to indicate a person’s rejection of the binary choice of male and female. Their gender is less rigid. To respect such a person, we would use their pronouns of preference. We might say about them, “Gerry is an amazing employee, aren’t they?” (Aside: In 2015, “they” was chosen as Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society for its new definition as a “gender-neutral singular pronoun.”
Some people think they/them is too confining; they prefer no pronouns at all. Leave out the he, she, they. Call these people by their names on each reference, as in, “Neil wrote Neil’s column because Neil had a deadline.”
Do not refer to anyone as “it” or “he-she.” These are slurs used against transgender and gender non-conforming people. Referring to someone with these words marginalizes them. On the other hand, when we call a person by his/her/their name and the gender identity he/she/they have chosen, we validate/empower/welcome them.
Neil Chethik, aka the Grammar Gourmet, is executive director at the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning (www.carnegieliteracy. org) and author of “FatherLoss” and “VoiceMale.” The Carnegie Center offers writing classes and seminars for businesses and individuals. Contact Neil at neil@carnegieliteracy. org or (859)254-4175.