Reagan was a 14-year-old single mother when she came to Step By Step almost 15 years ago. She was sexually abused and suicidal, living with her mom and four other siblings in a trash filled home where no one spoke without screaming. Met with acceptance and love at Step By Step, Reagan is now a social worker with two degrees, and a really amazing mom. She volunteers at Step By Step herself now, mentoring and encouraging as she was encouraged.
Nakeshia was on the streets at 11 years old, because sleeping in crack houses seemed safer than being beaten by her mother or abused by her father. When she came to Step By Step this past year, she had lost custody of her four children because her anger consumed and controlled her. Now Nakeshia is learning to let go of her anger and take responsibility for her life and actions.
Tamika is in a GED program, Casey is in college, Allison, Patricia and Cassaundra have their degrees ... I could go on and on with the names of young single moms whose lives have been changed forever by the mentoring, love and encouragement they have received at Step By Step.
Changing an angry, broken, despairing, young mom into one who knows she is loved and valuable and can be successful, also changes the lives of her children. That breaks this destructive cycle down through generations, and improves the very community we live in.
But as much as Step By Step has done for over 1,000 young, single moms in the past 15 years, I think the difference it has made in my life as a volunteer has been every bit as profound. I will be forever changed by the courage of these young women.
Step By Step
Every other Thursday evening, a boisterous group of young women and children gather at Immanuel Baptist Church to eat, play games and talk with one another.
They're all different, but their stories are very similar - vulnerable, underprivileged teenage moms without a solid family or community support group to help them meet the challenges of raising a child, bettering themselves in the face of dire circumstances. At these Thursday meetings, hosted by Step By Step - a local non-profit that helps coax these women into being successful stewards of their lives - the participants get a few hours of precious sanctuary in a non-judgmental environment where they receive fellowship, encouragement and wisdom.
"I see how when you love on a mom, and you respect her and give her dignity and honor and listen to her, she will listen to you about what you have to say about parenting, or relationships, or the kinds of guys she's choosing," said Step By Step director and cofounder Susan Freeman.
Freeman, along with co-founder Terri Behrens, established Step By Step in 1995 to help young women in the area, and to help reconcile some of the difficulties of their pasts. Behrens was a teenage mom, and Freeman says she should have been - she had two abortions as a teenager.
"Everybody has a different opinion on pro-life and pro-choice, but that's a decision that has haunted me," she said. "I just want to pour my love out to these girls that have chosen life. Yes, they made the same mistake I did, but they chose life. I wish I would've chosen what they chose."
Step By Step's volunteers, which targets women between the ages of 14 24, work with moms for four years - ample time, Freeman says, for anybody to turn their life around. The cornerstone of the organization's strategy is the bi-weekly meetings, where community members address the moms about important life skills, such as getting into college, finances and parenting. To keep the moms coming back, Step By Step tries to make the meetings as fun and relevant as possible. "We show them how to have fun without the sex, drugs and rock 'n roll," Freeman said.
Since its founding, Step By Step has assisted over 1,500 women and more than 3,000 children. Currently, the meetings are averaging about 80 kids and 50 moms; in the past two years, 175 women and 226 children have participated in the program. And the need for Step By Step's services are extremely high right now, Freeman said, with dozens of perspective members ready to enter the program, which is "bursting at the seams."
Empowered and inspired by the mothers' success stories, though, Freeman and Behrens, along with an indispensable fleet of volunteers, will help as many teenage moms as they can overcome staggering obstacles.
"1.3 percent of teen moms go on to complete their college education by the age of 30," Freeman said. "We are beating those statistics. Our moms are going to college."