Last week, I observed my 95th birthday. I refused my family’s offer for a party to celebrate. I had had one at 65, at 70, at 75, at 80, at 85 and at 90, and I have the documents and pictures to remind me. I’m lucky enough to have lived in Lexington almost all my life and to have had many of the same friends at all those celebrations. Time takes its toll and many of those faces from earlier years are gone. Anyway, I anticipated little notice of my birthday. I was wrong! Instead of one congratulatory event, there were several quiet out-to-dinner events with smaller numbers of participants and flowers and fruits and good wishes. It is gratifying to have accumulated some new and younger friends to wish me well in the place of faces I am missing.
I went back to the souvenirs of earlier parties and found reminders of things I had forgotten and enjoyed them all again. Among them was a poem of unknown authorship imploring God at every birthday to bequeath “just another year or so” in order to complete some chore or something of the like. Maybe I was guilty of that wish at earlier years.
At 95, I’m grateful I have survived with my mind intact, but my body is conscious and reminding me that I don’t see, hear or walk as I used to – and even I can’t straighten out the world, no matter how much more time I am given.
The conditions of the country, the world, the state and, even, my beloved Lexington depress me greatly. Once I was sure I knew how to fix things and I had energy and willingness to take on the assignment. Many fixes I’ve hoped for have, in fact, occurred, but nothing is any better, and I see nobody who is both capable of making things better and asking for the job. I’m also relieving God of providing any more years to accomplish undone chores – whatever time I have I’ll spend reading books, watching channels 12 and 15 and Netflix, and taking naps! In a recent Herald-Leader, there was speculation about who should and who would win the Emmy tonight. I hadn’t seen any show that was in the running, and I won’t be watching the Emmys either.
Earlier in my life, a very dear client suggested I resign from taking care of the world. I accepted his admonition and rejected his suggestion. Today, since the world is worse and I am more tired, I hereby resign as manager of the universe.
It’s all in your hands from now on!